当我不那么喜欢你的时候

huangban

大学里，那抹余晖
  

  大学里，那抹余晖

  ——路路

  

  

  晚风吹拂着不知名的花朵，飘来阵阵寒意，走在那抹夕阳的余晖里，蓦然惊觉，大学又飘走了一点点。那抹残阳，洒落了一地的忧伤。

  夜幕来临，深沉的黑色掩盖了一切辛酸，孤寂的灯火诉说着城市的落寞。遥望天际，繁星浩渺，此时的年华，没有了对明天的企盼。因为，计划明天只是一个美丽的错误。不在对自己充满希望。挥霍了高中的时光，又在慢慢浪费大学时光，只留下幕幕往事，不想回首。

  　　

  曾经，虚心的回家，不敢看那期盼的眼神；悠悠的回到学校，忘记了接过生活费时的隐隐心痛，梦游于课堂，网游于课堂，偶然翻开笔记，发现什么也没记。网聊、小说，伴我度过了高中的岁月，回想起老师的教诲，后悔未曾听取只言片语。大学，又这样游荡于小说、网络之间。寒假到了，或许只能带着空白的头脑回家。也许，江山易改，本性难移啊。

  　　

  看着试卷上的分数，觉得是那么滑稽，或许上学的年代都逃离不了分数的打扰吧。命运或许总是处于转弯状态，没有平直顺畅的路。这才惊觉，没了梦是那样可怕，没了追求，人生是那么苍白无力。梦，遗失在三年前的盛夏；追求，输给了三年的时光。

  　　

  似乎，世界对家中的你们更不公平，为了我的幸福，你们倾注了毕生的幸福，为我的未来投资，而我，却忘记了一切，一天又一天，一月又一月的挥霍着并不只属于我的年华。在灯火四起的时候，回想曾经走过的路，也会感到隐隐的心痛，但通过之后，也就忘了，黎明的到来，继续浪费着这崭新的一天。曾经，对自己偶尔还会有一丝丝企盼鼻子上面长痘痘的原因是什么引起的和希望，而今，全部风过无痕了，原来，这几年的自己，是那样的陌生。

  　　

  在角落里迷失了方向，只停不走，不知何时，才能找回孩提时的自己。似水的流年里，遇到了令我感动一生的人，也遇到了我厌倦一时的人。或许，这就是人生吧。

  　　

  在多少个日子里，一次次的长谈，也没有改变我颓废都生活，但也让我感到了温暖，让此时的我拥有了幸福的回忆，感谢你们。原来，自己是幸福的。

  　　

  余晖落尽，望着迷茫的前方，为什么总是雾霭重重。走过的路，既留下了浅浅的幸福，也留下了深深的叹息。远在他乡的爸妈啊，你们的幸福给了我，而我，拿什么给你们幸福呢？

  　　

  问温柔夜色，我是否该改变自己了，四周却寂寥无声。或许，早已该迈出停留的步子，走出堕落的世界了。。

  　　

  夜暮里，泪流满面。

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